[It takes a while for Tyler to get back to him, because A) he still doesn't like Solus, and while he's cooled off down from their argument enough that he doesn't resent the man for that specifically, he's still a bastard, and 2) talking on the network is a full-time commitment when you can't use your hands for other things.
But hey, it's not like he's got anything but time these days.]
I really don't think we had that distinction to begin with.
My not trusting you was an impartial fact, not a petty grievance. That is entirely separate from an unwillingness to work with you, in fact - and I wouldn't have been averse to doing so, Emet-Selch, if you hadn't insisted on taking every opportunity we met in person and turned it into some form of harassment. It's by your own pressing the matter and refusing to leave me alone that I am now both unwilling to trust OR work alongside you.
[solus you're not great at selling your case right now.]
I also feel you've somewhat misinterpreted the relationship I have with my feared one; but then the fault lies with me for explaining it poorly, and yes I do appreciate the irony of that. I did not fear you, nor do I suspect I ever had reason to - not until you made me fear you from your own actions and made what was a passing explanation as to why I might express discomfort into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don't expect you to know what it's like to have some greater, unnatural, reality-twisting entity ease itself into your heart and mind, until the option to leave - and even awareness of such - is forcibly taken from you. Nor what it cost me personally to fight that off for long enough to save myself, and to still never be free of the damage it caused me and the ones I care about, when the fact I survived at all is a constant and painful reminder. Nor, frankly, should I expect you to - most people wouldn't, even in my own world.
I suppose I should appreciate the opportunity you're willing to offer me here, but I really just don't care. This isn't me slapping your hand away in anger, it's pure indifference to wanting to know more about the man who takes thrills in my discomfort. You're exhausting, and I don't want to invest more energy into a dead end relationship.
no subject
But hey, it's not like he's got anything but time these days.]
I really don't think we had that distinction to begin with.
My not trusting you was an impartial fact, not a petty grievance. That is entirely separate from an unwillingness to work with you, in fact - and I wouldn't have been averse to doing so, Emet-Selch, if you hadn't insisted on taking every opportunity we met in person and turned it into some form of harassment. It's by your own pressing the matter and refusing to leave me alone that I am now both unwilling to trust OR work alongside you.
[solus you're not great at selling your case right now.]
I also feel you've somewhat misinterpreted the relationship I have with my feared one; but then the fault lies with me for explaining it poorly, and yes I do appreciate the irony of that. I did not fear you, nor do I suspect I ever had reason to - not until you made me fear you from your own actions and made what was a passing explanation as to why I might express discomfort into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don't expect you to know what it's like to have some greater, unnatural, reality-twisting entity ease itself into your heart and mind, until the option to leave - and even awareness of such - is forcibly taken from you. Nor what it cost me personally to fight that off for long enough to save myself, and to still never be free of the damage it caused me and the ones I care about, when the fact I survived at all is a constant and painful reminder. Nor, frankly, should I expect you to - most people wouldn't, even in my own world.
I suppose I should appreciate the opportunity you're willing to offer me here, but I really just don't care. This isn't me slapping your hand away in anger, it's pure indifference to wanting to know more about the man who takes thrills in my discomfort. You're exhausting, and I don't want to invest more energy into a dead end relationship.