Tyler Tian Huang | 黄泰勒田 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
asmywitness) wrote2020-03-03 05:40 pm
asmywitness) wrote2020-03-03 05:40 pm
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[[Tyler screens his calls - anyone who tries to actually call him, he'll text back in reply.]]
Right.
... and it's not *nearly* as much as you used to, honestly. Before I knew you better. It's very much a surface resemblance, because you're both so damn clever and you're both writers and blunt and like clothes and you call me on my bullshit when I need my bullshit called on and I'd do so much for you.
But personality-wise? No. You're very different people. She's-- very much an idealist. Even after ghosts and vampires and shit. And she's-- mm. More playful. And she calms down more easily. Honestly, the person most like her isn't you or even Armin--it's *Entrapta*. Ah. Not that I'll ever tell her that. Given how I learned my lesson with you.
... and it's not *nearly* as much as you used to, honestly. Before I knew you better. It's very much a surface resemblance, because you're both so damn clever and you're both writers and blunt and like clothes and you call me on my bullshit when I need my bullshit called on and I'd do so much for you.
But personality-wise? No. You're very different people. She's-- very much an idealist. Even after ghosts and vampires and shit. And she's-- mm. More playful. And she calms down more easily. Honestly, the person most like her isn't you or even Armin--it's *Entrapta*. Ah. Not that I'll ever tell her that. Given how I learned my lesson with you.
Not everyone bites back as hard at being infantilized as me. I'm the outlier, not the standard.
Don't think I haven't noticed how you keep diverting away from the shit that's hard to confront about yourself, by the way. Dodging off of Lydia and Solus was kind of obvious as shit. Connie too, to a lesser extent, but it mostly seems like as soon as I present to you that you have to genuinely analyse how you're interacting with someone and that your methods on such might be in the wrong, you dance off it.
You do it a lot in general, actually, you've just been doing it in rapid succession here and make it more obvious than usual.
Don't think I haven't noticed how you keep diverting away from the shit that's hard to confront about yourself, by the way. Dodging off of Lydia and Solus was kind of obvious as shit. Connie too, to a lesser extent, but it mostly seems like as soon as I present to you that you have to genuinely analyse how you're interacting with someone and that your methods on such might be in the wrong, you dance off it.
You do it a lot in general, actually, you've just been doing it in rapid succession here and make it more obvious than usual.
I mean, what do you want me to *say*? You've already analyzed all the ways I've fucked up and shoved my nose in it. Do you need me to explicitly say you're right and I'm wrong?
Because you probably are.
Fuck knows I don't trust my own judgement these days.
Because you probably are.
Fuck knows I don't trust my own judgement these days.
I don't want you to stroke my ego, I want you to acknowledge that you're going to do something about it so I have some kind of word to hold you to.
I want to have PROOF that when I smack you for not doing it later, it's a justified "I told you so".
I want to have PROOF that when I smack you for not doing it later, it's a justified "I told you so".
Edited 2020-08-15 08:34 (UTC)
Good money to help support the family, he says, with a wry twist of his mouth above his hands. But only if you break into the field, and I'm already at a severe disadvantage that most people won't look past even with actual discrimination laws. At least with publishing I can make my own choices on who I have to work for, for the most part.
Well, yeah, Steven agrees. Plus, lawyers are supposed to talk all the time and most juries are not known for being full of people who know sign.
You're right. I'm being an ass. I'll-- figure out how to apologize to Lydia and next time I'll just let her abuse me until she's calmed the fuck down.
And I'll give Emet-Selch the terse, one-word-at-best silent treatment until he gets bored with me. And I'll hope to fuck that he does.
That better?
And I'll give Emet-Selch the terse, one-word-at-best silent treatment until he gets bored with me. And I'll hope to fuck that he does.
That better?
Clear your calendar for 2/15.
Edited 2020-08-16 03:12 (UTC)
Yes, actually. Christ.
But seriously, just. Make an effort. I might be more of an asshole than you sometimes, but at least I take steps to fix it if it fucks someone else up, rather than ignoring it and letting it fester.
But seriously, just. Make an effort. I might be more of an asshole than you sometimes, but at least I take steps to fix it if it fucks someone else up, rather than ignoring it and letting it fester.
God willing I'll even be here that long.
What's up?
What's up?
[That hurts. But since it's Tyler and Tyler doesn't tell him things he doesn't mean, he'll listen. Because he knows Tyler, at least, isn't just telling him to make him feel like shit, but because Steven being an ass is making things harder for him.]
Right.
I'm sorry, Tyler.
Right.
I'm sorry, Tyler.
Jack and I talked today (it's our six month anniversary) and God willing if *I'm* still here, we'll be getting married then.
Not sure how much of a ceremony it'll be, but if I end up *needing* a best man, I'd like it to be you.
Not sure how much of a ceremony it'll be, but if I end up *needing* a best man, I'd like it to be you.
Don't be sorry, be better.
Sorry for being so harsh about it. I'm gonna take a break, but I'm not mad at you. This is just a lot.
Sorry for being so harsh about it. I'm gonna take a break, but I'm not mad at you. This is just a lot.
No, no. You're entirely within your rights to take a break from my shit. Being best friends doesn't mean you can't have boundaries.
I'm going to be better.
I'm going to be better.
[Unfortunate as it is that it comes across as condescending, when rather he was aiming more for politeness. After all, he is more prone to ditch a conversation when he's done, regardless of whether or not his partner is. Oh well, one cannot simply win them all.
With a careful gaze, he takes in the hesitance, the way that Tyler signs, the soft way he moves, the guilt. These are good things, he thinks. This means there is hope yet.]
Certainly. Your awareness of your bias is certainly promising, oft is that the first step, as they say. I will be certain to pass along your message, and likewise press upon him to respect your need for distance.
All the same, you have my gratitude. Pray, take care of yourself, Tyler.
[And with that, he will politely take his leave. Well, as polite as one can take that strange little wave he does as he departs.]
With a careful gaze, he takes in the hesitance, the way that Tyler signs, the soft way he moves, the guilt. These are good things, he thinks. This means there is hope yet.]
Certainly. Your awareness of your bias is certainly promising, oft is that the first step, as they say. I will be certain to pass along your message, and likewise press upon him to respect your need for distance.
All the same, you have my gratitude. Pray, take care of yourself, Tyler.
[And with that, he will politely take his leave. Well, as polite as one can take that strange little wave he does as he departs.]
We're gonna have to take Solus off the pre-banned list for Fight Club I'm cool with him now and kind of invited him to the grand opening Friday.
Also never play drinking games with Amaurotines and ouzo no matter how much of the good gossip it will get you.
Also never play drinking games with Amaurotines and ouzo no matter how much of the good gossip it will get you.
If I told you something I found out about Jack, would you take it as a secret to your grave?
Because I learned something via his daughter's boyfriend (Armin) and I have no reason to doubt him and now everything makes too much sense and I hate it.
Because I learned something via his daughter's boyfriend (Armin) and I have no reason to doubt him and now everything makes too much sense and I hate it.
Is it something I need to know, or is it something you need to tell someone before you implode overthinking it?
More the latter.
Technically my therapist knows but he doesn't count because therapist. I need to tell someone who's not obligated to listen to me in order to fix my head.
Technically my therapist knows but he doesn't count because therapist. I need to tell someone who's not obligated to listen to me in order to fix my head.
[steven please]
Alright, hit me. What's Jack's latest atrocity?
Alright, hit me. What's Jack's latest atrocity?
It's not his latest atrocity. It happened before he ever showed up here. Years ago.
Okay. But. Here's the thing: Jack's daughter is one of the people who are dead in their world and I just found out (six days ago) that he likely drove her to become suicidal. I don't know any details. Armin would have to get his girlfriend's permission for that. I just.
I don't know. I'm so fucked up about this. I don't know why I'm upset about this when him trying to murder all the squatters on Pandora didn't upset me like this.
Okay. But. Here's the thing: Jack's daughter is one of the people who are dead in their world and I just found out (six days ago) that he likely drove her to become suicidal. I don't know any details. Armin would have to get his girlfriend's permission for that. I just.
I don't know. I'm so fucked up about this. I don't know why I'm upset about this when him trying to murder all the squatters on Pandora didn't upset me like this.
Because you don't give a rat's ass about some random hobos on some distant planet in the distant future, but you're emotionally invested in your very present potential daughter-in-law. That's not a difficult question.
Yes. Fuck. You're right.
Just. Shit. This kind of thing should be a deal breaker. It's not. I'm upset at him about it. But it's not. I don't want to leave him yet. But I don't think I love him as much as I used to.
I don't think he's *noticed* I don't.
Just. Shit. This kind of thing should be a deal breaker. It's not. I'm upset at him about it. But it's not. I don't want to leave him yet. But I don't think I love him as much as I used to.
I don't think he's *noticed* I don't.
I mean, I doubt you're above doing that to someone either, looking at your hobbies. So you either can't or won't be mad about that specifically. The problem is that he did it to someone you'd consider to be One Of His People, which is absolutely off-limits for you.
Yes.
Yes, fuck, that's exactly it. How could you do that to your own person? Fuck other people, you're supposed to protect them.
You're not supposed to hurt them. You're not supposed to make them so miserable they they would rather die if it gets them away from you.
About the most benign scenario is that he was just controlling as hell after she reached puberty. The likeliest scenario is that he kept her in isolation for her protection and she cracked for lack of seeing anyone else. The worst case scenario is Munchausen by-proxy.
I keep going through all of them in my head.
Yes, fuck, that's exactly it. How could you do that to your own person? Fuck other people, you're supposed to protect them.
You're not supposed to hurt them. You're not supposed to make them so miserable they they would rather die if it gets them away from you.
About the most benign scenario is that he was just controlling as hell after she reached puberty. The likeliest scenario is that he kept her in isolation for her protection and she cracked for lack of seeing anyone else. The worst case scenario is Munchausen by-proxy.
I keep going through all of them in my head.
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