You've got to stop comparing your Durance to mine. It's not anger that he says it with, it's more... exasperated and impatient. They both suck, we both got fucked up and you're the one person who I'm not going to use it for a pissing contest with, so just...
His hands falter, and he glances away, grimacing gently before he returns his focus to the camera. His movements have a carefully curated patience to them. I understand that you're trying not to be dismissive of mine when you talk about yours, but it just makes you sound dismissive of yours, and makes me feel like an asshole for existing. And honestly, that's not any better.
He continues again a few seconds later, more naturally.
But yeah, it fucking sucks to still be with the people you were in there with. It's like... they know it's not your fault, but you still felt good about hurting them. You got rewarded for it. And when it happens, when you get that reward, it's only worth it until it's over, and then you're just stuck with having made your friends suffer and they don't even blame you for being so selfish about it.
His hands are shaking a little by the end, and he balls them into tight fists for a moment until the sensation passes.
I couldn't stand living with Mai when we got out. It's not that I don't love her, or that- I didn't want to escape with her, but. It was... hard. Knowing that she didn't know it was all my fault. It felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and it never did.
no subject
His hands falter, and he glances away, grimacing gently before he returns his focus to the camera. His movements have a carefully curated patience to them. I understand that you're trying not to be dismissive of mine when you talk about yours, but it just makes you sound dismissive of yours, and makes me feel like an asshole for existing. And honestly, that's not any better.
He continues again a few seconds later, more naturally.
But yeah, it fucking sucks to still be with the people you were in there with. It's like... they know it's not your fault, but you still felt good about hurting them. You got rewarded for it. And when it happens, when you get that reward, it's only worth it until it's over, and then you're just stuck with having made your friends suffer and they don't even blame you for being so selfish about it.
His hands are shaking a little by the end, and he balls them into tight fists for a moment until the sensation passes.
I couldn't stand living with Mai when we got out. It's not that I don't love her, or that- I didn't want to escape with her, but. It was... hard. Knowing that she didn't know it was all my fault. It felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and it never did.