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[asmywitness]

[[Tyler screens his calls - anyone who tries to actually call him, he'll text back in reply.]]

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[amaure]

That question is a tough one, but he does know the answer. It is not because of Zodiark that he could not love her, but he supposes it's possible that could also be the case. He hesitates to answer, letting Tyler finish his thoughts before jumping in to defend Zodiark, to dismiss the notion outright. However, he's surprised by the latter half of what Tyler says to him.

'Such moving empathy. It's as if you wore the feathers yourself.' Hythlodaeus' words ring in his mind as he considers Tyler's own. While he would be quick to deny such, or at least dismiss it, he knew well that his empathy was untouched by his tempering. That ever was he at the mercy of it. That it both has helped and harmed him in equal measure.

It's why he can mingle so well with the mortals, why he can connect to them, why he can befriend them...why he can mislead them, manipulate them, and bring about their ruin...much at the cost of his own suffering.

After a moment of looking away from Tyler for a time, contemplating his thoughts and feelings...

...I suppose you may be right. Perhaps my empathy has indeed stayed intact, but I cannot say that I loved her. Cared for her, I suppose, but I have never loved a woman, and I do not believe I could—and that has little to do with Lord Zodiark.

Even as he says that, he does not happy to admit as much. Not that he has a problem admitting that he's attracted to men, that much is fairly obvious to...well, anyone, but rather there's guilt there. Guilt that the woman who bore the boys he loved so did not bask in his affection the same way.

But I doubtlessly loved my sons.

He gets that much out, but the burn of tears in his eyes becomes a bit too much. Turning away from Tyler, he brings a hand to his face. Covering a good portion of it as he tries to stay his mourning, tries to keep from this embarrassing display of emotion. It's less that he's ashamed of having emotions or expressing grief...it just feels inappropriate here. Inappropriate before Tyler.

How long has it been since he's openly wept in front of someone like this? Eons, he'd wager. Perhaps not since after the Sundering, when he, Lahabrea, and Elidibus beheld their broken home. Their foolish and frail brethren—robbed of their memories, robbed of everything that had made them who they were. It was then that he knew deepest despair, and it was then that he had wept so hard and so brokenly.

Yet here he is, barely holding it together over the loss of a few mortals—his son in particular. It's ridiculous that he would be so stricken by the loss. These mortals, that in the grand scheme of things should not matter. Yet they do. Yet he did.

He had lost him first, and then he lost his wife... Titus, his youngest, had outlived "Solus", but so too would he lose him. Killed by his grandson for the throne of Garlemald, who then was recently killed by his son, by Estinien's account.

...Oh how his heart aches.

After a moment to attempt to compose himself, he finally removes his hand from his face, blinking back the threat of tears as he signs, my apologies...

[asmywitness]

Tyler has been nothing but patient with Solus as he stumbles his way through emotions he probably hasn't fully let himself feel in... he'd have to assume millennia, if not somehow even longer - but that doesn't stop him from bristling internally, making Isis glance back at him when that sense of recoil passes into her attention. It would be beyond stupid for him to judge Solus more harshly for not loving his wife, knowing that now, but that's entirely unrelated to the unsavoury taste it adds to the memory of their flight. He'd honestly thought the man was just dramatic, not gay; but then, he's had difficulty trusting his intuition since he left the Hedge.

He has to take a deep breath himself, when Solus covers his face and looks away, letting it out as quietly as he can, given his circumstances (breathing, he's found, is harder to judge than his voice when volume is concerned). He's sure that if he was a Changeling again, this would be the most bountiful Winter harvest he's ever seen.

When Solus looks up again, still so damp and red around the eyes, Tyler's own expression is calm again, if still folded just a little with empathy.

You don't need to apologise. Though I probably should for asking you all of this in public, knowing you're under the affect of substance. He doesn't know if Solus thought he was subtle about it, but it's worth pointing out for certain. If you're not opposed, I'd be willing to walk you back to work so people don't try and harass you on your way.

[amaure]

You should. But I have a feeling you won't. Little can I blame you for taking advantage of a ripe opportunity. Nevertheless, it matters not.

He might be out of it, but he hasn't totally lost his wits. He's...aware to a point that this likely was not fully out of the goodness of Tyler's heart. While he told Steven they were on civil terms, there's a reason he said civil opposed to other terms. While he certainly likes Tyler, he knows there's a rift there still. One that will take some time to cross—if it ever can be.

Though, he takes a moment to consider Tyler's offer, and while he doesn't need to go back to work, it is along the way back towards his place. Little does he worry about harassment, but perhaps he still would enjoy the company. And so, he gives Tyler a nod, pushing himself (a little wobbly) to his feet. He turns to look at him, giving him a tired and sad smile.

Thank you.

[asmywitness]

You never know when someone's going to try and offer you help when you don't want it; at least if Tyler's there Solus is less likely to be bothered by a well-meaning stranger.

Though Solus's callout makes Tyler huff quietly in self-deprecating amusement, he still stands up at the same time. He still doesn't want to touch the man, so he's glad when he can stand unassisted. If it comes to it, probably he'll just get Isis or Teller to carry the man back to the barracks or something.

You're welcome.

[amaure]

It's an odd feeling, this entire situation is odd to start, but to find comfort in the presence of someone he does not regard as a friend, let alone ally. Though, he supposes it has been some time since he's had more than mere enemies, so this is just as well. It does take him a moment to start walking, first turning to head off, but stopping a moment to squeeze his eyes shut. His hand rising to rub at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

Perhaps he stood too quickly. Perhaps standing at all after such an emotional ride, while being decently inebriated, was a mistake. Regardless, after a moment or two, he lowers his hand, shakes his head, and presses on. There isn't much to say as they walk, not that it'd be easy to regardless seeing as signing while walking certainly seems like a waste of time.

Idly, he wonders Tyler's thoughts regarding him over such a display. After what he told him, but his mind is easily enough sidetracked from such pondering. Particularly when he has to focus on things like walking and balance. Both of which he's doing fairly well with, despite his state of being. Regardless, it's rather easy to let one's mind wander.

He just looks utterly distracted as they walk and tired. The usual heavy slouch to his walk seems worse somehow. It probably is.

[asmywitness]

He's almost glad he's coming along, with how Solus seems to be forcing dedicated effort into not falling over, and it leaves him looking distracted and exhausted. Well he was probably the latter anyway but Tyler sure as shit didn't help with any of it.

He's still not quite sure what to make of it all. It's certainly not enough to swing the tide over to liking him, but with such a dedicated impression Solus had been wanting to leave earlier, he's fairly certain that now - knowing all of this, hearing his grief, and yet not feeling that fundamental shift of perspective, like how he did when he learned Solus was tempered - he's pretty sure that's not going to change. Now or ever.

Tyler doesn't think less of him, seeing him at his lowest. Probably Solus would enjoy the irony of it somewhere along the line.

If Solus chooses to stop, Tyler will pause as well - in case the man goes and vomits or something. But he's ultimately just here to guard, not lead.

[amaure]

In fact, he does stop. Though, not the puke, thankfully. He can hold his alcohol a bit better than that, though this is admittedly the first he's had of Persim berry weed. Probably not the best combination for a first time, but it's fine. He's fine. It's certainly a great deal into why he even said as much as he did. Why he could not contain his grief that he's otherwise locked down tight and ignored. One more onerous facet to his ever tiresome existence.

Slowly, he turns to look at Tyler, his eyes squinting a little as he seems to be examining him for a moment. Or, perhaps he looks conflicted, honestly it's hard to tell what he's feeling or thinking. But the weird moment doesn't last overly long, before he signs.

I believe it goes without saying I would be most appreciative if this stayed between us.

It will be bad enough dealing with whatever Steven makes of the information he shared, after all. Not that he thinks Tyler is one to go around and gossip without reason, but...

I know well you have no loyalty to me, and little do I expect it. So, I suppose I am asking this as a favor—man to man—without pretense or aught of the sort. A mere bid for decency.

Because he cannot expect any from Steven, he hopes that he can except the barest minimum from Tyler.

[asmywitness]

There's a vague look of concern on Tyler's face when Solus does stop, and turn very slowly to look at him, and he's starting to wonder if he should take a step back from under such a weird stare, until Solus finally signs at him.

It takes him a few long seconds to think of how to reply to it, honestly.

You're right. I don't. He gives a sort of resigned little quirk of a smile. But I don't have any reason to hurt you with it, either. I'm not going to tell anyone, and I wasn't planning on it to begin with.

Though he can begrudgingly understand why Solus would think so, given... well, everything.

[amaure]

There's a strangely candid look of relief and gratitude that displays on his face at that answer. He doesn't...fully believe him, he can't allow himself to be so naive when it concerns mortals, but there's a good portion of him that wants to, and in a sense does. The expression itself looks genuine, at the very least.

You're a good man.

That, at least, he does mean. He turns to continue on the path once more, but then he jolts like a thought just struck him, and he turns to look at Tyler again.

Ah, I realized you mentioned going back to work, though that is scarce my destination. It most assuredly is along the way, however. If you must needs depart once we arrive, it will not be remiss of you to do so. I will be fine.

Maybe he shouldn't aim to go back home, not when he doesn't know if Steven or Hythlodaeus are still there, but. Going to work, or staying in public, neither are better choices. Little would he burden anyone else with this matter, and that aside, what allies and friends he's made have all decided to rely on him. He could go to Dirk's, but he likewise does not want to burden him with this.

Foolish, perhaps, when one might argue Dirk is who should be there for him over such matters, yet Solus is ever the sort to bear his burdens alone. A lifelong habit that he's not likely to break any time soon, if he can help it.