asmywitness | IC Inbox

Tyler? Are you all right with talking to me yet, or do you need me to wait another day?

Edited 2020-07-27 11:57 (UTC)

You were right. Congratulations.

[There's a long pause - several minutes - before the next reply follows.]

I'm not.

Mad at you.

I'm just tired.

I don't feel good about being right.

*I* feel tired.

You know that I was trying to protect you when I stopped you, right? After what happened to me?

And now I have the gratitude of a man I hate, whose grave I would gladly spit on.

It's enough to get him to agree to a written ceasefire truce between us all, though. If you'd want to be part of that.

Edited 2020-07-27 13:02 (UTC)

I know. You don't have to explain it.

[tyler no we're trying NOT to be an asshole]

Solus approached me yesterday about it anyway. The whole thing went... better than I expected, I suppose.

Better to have his gratitude than his ire, Steven. Take it as a win.

[There's a long pause, as he considers the idea of a ceasefire. Objectively, he's only thrown blows under duress when someone else has wound him up. But he supposed, theoretically, that this would probably minimise that happening again in future.]

You know I'm going to want to see it before I sign anything.

Of course. I intend to show it to you once I've drafted it. It's basically the Good Neighbors Pact, down to the year-and-day timeframe and swearing on our True Names—though without *signing* them.

And yeah. I know it's better. Still doesn't mean I have to like it.

Are we... going to be okay? Because you're basically my best friend here, Tyler. I don't want to lose you. And even if we're friends now, I'd consider Hythlodaeus a poor trade.

[He just stares at the ceiling for a few minutes.]

I feel like I should be the one asking that, not you. I'm the one that goes off at you with full aggression over reasonable mistakes, and never apologises. You'd be pretty within your rights to ghost me, or just cut me off entirely, and I wouldn't really be able to say you were wrong for it.

Honestly, while I don't really like the degree that you flip out on me, I *do* depend on you to call me on my shit. So you're not getting rid of me that easily.

Really, what pissed me off the most was you trying to solve things without even talking to me about it, like I was some dumb kid whose messes you have to clean up all the time. And given the whole mess with Sento spotting me, I'd *already* been feeling stupid.

You told him about work and he immediately confronted me about it.

[He sends a screencap of a few exchanges he and Hythlodaeus had, to hammer that point home.]

I was mad at you about it, yeah, but I was more worried that he'd tell someone just to see what happened. I didn't want you getting hurt because you decided to trust him, for whatever fucking reason. And evidently he's got no issues with telling people anyone else's personal information, given how he also started interrogating me for information on your durance.

And... yeah, I don't like people knowing things about me. For the exact same reason. I don't like people having things they can use against me.

Edited (forgot the dang link) 2020-08-08 10:57 (UTC)

Oh hell, of course he did that. Nosy bastard.

That said... some of the context for that shit he's asking is that he's... kind of serving as an ad hoc therapist for me right now. Among other things. Which doesn't mean it *wasn't* a dick move for him to discuss that shit with you like that.

I don't think he'll actually tell anyone anything that would cause trouble, though. If nothing else, he's told me things he absolutely does *not* want his ex- boyfriend to know and if any of us were imprisoned, I wouldn't *hesitate* to use them.

[He's a little annoyed how ready Steven is to forgive him, but the emotion is fleeting. Given how quickly Steven also forgives him his own transgressions, it's a bit rich.]

Well. Let him know in future then, that just because we're from the same world doesn't mean I'm required for your therapy. I'd honestly rather not be involved at all, your mental health isn't my business where it doesn't directly involve me.

And whatever he's been telling you about him and Solus, I don't want to know either. Just so that's on record.

You really, really don't. I *never* wanted to know so much detail about what fucking 'Solus' likes in bed.

But yeah. I'll tell him that.

Dude.

[come on man]

But no, I just. I don't want you to hate me. I like having you in my life and being my friend, it just. Keeps being complicated.

Just because I'm not sharing this terrible knowledge with you, doesn't mean you can get away without knowing what *kind* of knowledge I'm sparing you from.

But hopefully now that I've taught him about Gravlr, he'll *move on* and I won't have to hear it anymore either.

[Anyway.]

But yeah. Me too. Both, you know, wanting you in my life and everything being constantly complicated.

Also, uh, I've been doing these exercises in a thing called cognitive empathy since my normal kind is so shitty and in retrospect I just realized that I might have made you feel about me and Hythlodaeus the same way I was feeling about you and 'Solus' before, so sorry about that.

[...somehow he wasn't expecting that.]

Accepted. And. Sorry for going off at you and undermining you before. Just next time give me a heads up if you're gonna do something that ends up incriminating me, I guess.

Sure. No problem.

I'm glad we're good now.

(I'm taking Osomatsu on Baby's First Job this weekend, but after we're back from Ecruteak, do you want to hit up the used bookstore by the Radio Tower together?)

Sounds like a plan. It'll be nice hanging out again.

Yeah. It's only been a couple days, but I've missed you.

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