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[asmywitness]

[[Tyler screens his calls - anyone who tries to actually call him, he'll text back in reply.]]

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[asmywitness]

[Something about the sheer dismissiveness with which Solus waves off his angsty drama upset brushes against Tyler's irritation - which, honestly, helps in shaking it off more than any other emotion would have. That's Summer for you.

So he pushes himself to sit up a little straighter as Solus continues talking (and winces as he inadvertently puts weight on his sore arm), and actually pays attention.

Objectively, he knows everything Solus is telling him already. Too used to hearing it as mindless platitudes from Mai, when she was obviously trying to comfort herself more than him. Honestly, he's always been offended by the notion, and even now he feels his stomach curdle with resentment. Why should he be the one that has to change, again, when he's always been the one having to, to be everything someone else wants of him? Why can't he, just this once, be the one that doesn't have to? Why can't he be the one that gets to live his own goddamn way without anyone else's expectations weighing him into shape?

...because Solus was right, to his eternal chagrin. Because not changing would just keep hurting the people he cared about. As well as the people he didn't, and while he feels like he shouldn't care about them it still makes him nauseous to think of how close he was to actually breaking something of Hythlodaeus. If the man had actually managed to touch him...

Of course they are. It's myself I doubt. [At least the most of that self-loathing is gone, replaced by just plain exhaustion.] Humans aren't supposed to have memories like mine. An eternal, timeless mind overwhelms us - it's only through necessity and pain that I know how to bear the weight of mine. It's too easy to remember old mistakes, old habits, as if every time is the first time, and fall into them again and again because the path is already there. Too easy to... take things at face value, because I have something to match it to and make assumptions of.

[His hands curl into tight fists for a moment, then release.]

I didn't mean to hurt Hythlodaeus. I didn't want to. I can tolerate his presence the same I do yours, I find no problem in that, but some scars don't fade with time. I will be as terrified of him, or you, touching me tomorrow as I would have been the day I escaped my Durance, and with the way my mind works I cannot fix that. I can learn other things, I can adjust - even if it feels glacially slow to other people. [And his brow wrinkles, thinking of Steven still fearing he won't adjust to the other Changeling's new attitude.] It's not a matter of not wanting to. When it comes to thoughts of my Keeper, there will only ever be fear. Even if they're misplaced.

[amaure]

[The rigidness in Tyler's posture does enough to tell Solus of his irritation, but he doesn't care. The momentary upset did not matter in the face of the greater problem. So, when Tyler starts to reply, he likewise gives him his full attention. Though, his expression is not so stern as it has been, there's something more soft to his gaze as Tyler explains himself, explains his memory.

He has to hold himself back from correcting him, from telling him that such memory is what all people should have—but he has to remind himself that Tyler is not like his mortals. At least, not like a good majority of them. Still, he cannot help but feel pity for him, for his pain, for his torment.]

Your memory is just as mine. Eons feel instant, ancient harms are as fresh as those that are suffered in the present, never healing, never forgotten. But this need not be only a weapon, so too can it be a tool.

We may never be able to escape our torment, this is true, but we can better arm ourselves for it. Our burdens are for us to bear, not our loved ones, and so while it may seem unfair, and perhaps it is, we must merely make due. We must press on. Besides, I know you can do better, for you have made progress with me, have you not? Certainly you wish not to be touched by me, but you used to barely be able to speak with me, let alone sit next to me to offer an ear to my woes.

[Yeah, he's not about to forget that, nor let Tyler forget it. Not that either of them would, but it's useful as a reminder of Tyler's actual progress, when he seems fit to deny himself the credit that is due.]

You are right, that some scars never fade. Some scars never become scars at all, but remain open wounds that fester and bleed—fresh as the day they were forced upon us. But with memories such as ours, we have the unique ability to know the difference between that which reminds us of the past, and that which is the same as it. With more evidence and exposure to that which proves otherwise to such misgivings, it will only serve to benefit in the long run.

[He pauses a moment with that, finally giving Tyler a soft smile.]

Which means, while it is liable to be troublesome at times for both of us, I would like to offer my cooperation in assisting you on such a path to recovery. You need not answer immediately, but do think on it.

[asmywitness]

[Tyler wouldn't have been able to forget that in a hurry even if he had wanted to, but he still squirms slightly under the pointed use of it as a comparison. It's a fair stab, especially with how underhandedly he went about it, but... it wasn't wrong. Again. It's irritating how often Solus is right on the money with him. It's too easy to remember his own reaction to Solus after their incident - and even now, looking back on their argument in the hallway, it doesn't quite hold the same sting of anger that it did closer to the actual moment it happened.

The soft smile gets a slight suspicious raise of Tyler's eyebrows, but whatever snide or pitying aside he was expecting from it - some backhanded Solus-ism stained with condescension - he wouldn't have guessed an offer of therapy; and so he openly stares at Solus for a good few seconds, before his brain kicks back into gear.]

I... will definitely have to think about it. [But that's not a hard no - not from Tyler "fuck you fight me" Huang, by any stretch. It's not even a soft no, really, it's just confused. Even his code switching slips a little.] That's... not something I expected from you, honestly, I would have thought I was more beneath your attention than warranting personal assistance.

[amaure]

[He isn't surprised by this reaction, honestly he's more surprised by his own offering. But it makes sense in his mind: the more Tyler is left to his own devices without proper aid, the more this is going to continue unabated. The more these problems are going to continue, the same mistakes repeated. Which is utter madness, and Solus has no patience for such. This will help all parties involved, and even those who are not directly so.

It is entirely logical. It has nothing to do with him liking Tyler, though that certainly makes it an easier undertaking. This is purely, and without a single doubt, formed and fueled by rational thought, and not a single bit influenced by some foolish sentimentality.

As such, he gives Tyler a bit of a placating smile, shrugging a little with his hands out at either side of him, before he starts to sign.]

Well, it merely makes sense. After all, between Hythlodaeus and myself, we are a unique boon in your personal circumstance—though it may not seem such with how our existence torments you. But, as we have been made sorely aware, Hythlodaeus is not likely the one whom can aid you in such a way. Viewed thus, it is only rational that such would fall to me.

Despite our shortcomings, embarrassing missteps, and all of that... I would much rather lend you my aid, than to watch you continue down this path of suffering. It really is in the best interest for all involved, it is only rational that I lend a hand.

[asmywitness]

So long as he doesn't keep trying to aid me, I don't imagine I'll deteriorate any further.

[It's a little bit stiff, because he's a little bit offended. Because, by and large, the worst parts of what he has to consider regression - or maybe just self-destruction - are directly linked to one of the Amaurots meddling. If Hythlodaeus hadn't kept insisting on helping Tyler, inasmuch as intent counted, he wouldn't have lashed out. If Solus hadn't been so smug and posturing and gone out of his way to try and upset Tyler, even if he couldn't have known the true depths of Tyler's trauma then, he wouldn't have begun fearing the man to begin with. It was incredibly bloated and masturbatory for Solus to then decide and declare that he should be the one, of all people, to try and stoke Tyler back into sanity.

(He stays his hands for a moment so he can look away and take a drink of his cooling coffee.)

...but the worst part is, Tyler isn't opposed to letting him. He knows he needs it, doesn't believe for a second that this world is equipped to deal with his issues, and even beyond that there's being a Rocket to consider. He knows he's not prone to slips of the hand; quite the opposite in fact. He's reluctant to even deliver the most basic of personal information about himself to most people. Yet here Solus is, already knowing most of all his trauma and offering.

When he lowers his hands again, that sullen edge is gone and he's back to being politely calm.]

Regardless, your reasoning is sound enough. [Even if it sounds like he's gifting Tyler the privilege of being helped by him.] I'd be more comfortable with more time to think on it, I don't want to give you an answer here and now, but I'm not... immediately opposed.

[amaure]

I shall make certain he does not continue to attempt. It is plain as ever that such will only impede any progress, and while he does mean well, it does not mean wellness will be achieved.

[Honestly, he is being a bit of an egotist in how he's offering and explaining this, but that's his own way of hiding the true sentiment behind the offer. It's bad enough that he's aware of his attachment to Tyler, little does he need Tyler to be keen of its depth—let alone that it truly exists in any capacity.

So, as Tyler takes his time to think on the matter, Solus waits patiently. There's nothing about his body language that would imply he's trying to rush him, or force anything. He looks calm and relaxed, or rather, as much as he can be either of those things with his own emotions still in a bit of a tizzy. It's hard not to be, with Hythlodaeus' injury being so present.

Yet, when he does answer, Solus gives a slow, understanding nod.]

That is all I can ask: that you give it true consideration. As I said, I do not expect an immediate answer, but a mere eventual one. Take your time, but not too much time, for that can become its own problem.

If you have nothing further to say on the matter, perhaps it is best we part ways for now? To afford you some reflection on the matter. Unless, of course, you might have aught further to add...?

[asmywitness]

[With the way he's phrasing that, he's definitely making Tyler feel he ought to say more. Which is more than a little condescending; but then, that's not exactly any different from anything else Solus has said today.

He holds his coffee mug in both hands as he considers it - it's actually uncomfortable where it presses against his bare burns, but he doesn't lift his hands until he's thought of a proper way to say what he's thinking. There's a softer care to his movements, a faint look of guilt on his face.]

As of yet I don't trust myself to be objective towards Hythlodaeus, in text or otherwise. So, I... I would greatly appreciate if you would be willing to pass on my apologies for the harm I inflicted on him.

[Wilfully or not, he did hurt the man. That deserved acknowledging. Even if it rather feels like Solus is trying to coax it out of him.]

[amaure]

[Unfortunate as it is that it comes across as condescending, when rather he was aiming more for politeness. After all, he is more prone to ditch a conversation when he's done, regardless of whether or not his partner is. Oh well, one cannot simply win them all.

With a careful gaze, he takes in the hesitance, the way that Tyler signs, the soft way he moves, the guilt. These are good things, he thinks. This means there is hope yet.]

Certainly. Your awareness of your bias is certainly promising, oft is that the first step, as they say. I will be certain to pass along your message, and likewise press upon him to respect your need for distance.

All the same, you have my gratitude. Pray, take care of yourself, Tyler.

[And with that, he will politely take his leave. Well, as polite as one can take that strange little wave he does as he departs.]