IC Inbox

[asmywitness]

[[Tyler screens his calls - anyone who tries to actually call him, he'll text back in reply.]]

Comments

[asmywitness]

Well, this sure keeps on happening.

He just lies back on his bed, and feels Isis get comfortable on his head.

You've spent forty fucking years as a Nice Guy TM and what, a month knowing your fuckguy? Habits don't change easily, I thought you knew that already.

[fingersandteeth]

Okay I am not a Nice Guy TM I don't think girls owe me sex for basic friend gestures I don't even like sex with girls I tried once nothing happened

Also I'm not actually THAT OLD yet

Jesus Tyler how old do you think I am???

[asmywitness]

Clearly not old enough to feel the need to avoid gossiping about your coworkers' sex lives.

[fingersandteeth]

Dirk deserves it

Also if I complain about his stupidity enough to other people maybe someone else will educate him about his frankly regressive and heterocentric views of sex roles/positions and what they imply about people because I am so goddamn tired of his bullshit but someone needs to

[asmywitness]

...yeah he regrets bringing it back around to that.

I mean, he hasn't talked about his sex life or lack thereof with me yet, so I'm going entirely by your word here.

He may or may not tell Dirk later. Just so they're on the same page about what Tyler now knows.

Also I feel like that's a lot of hot air coming from you when we're from the same heterocentric and regressive world when it comes to sexual expression and relationships et cetera.

[fingersandteeth]

Yeah but I don't go around acting like switches don't exist or spewing bullshit about alpha full-featured tops or implying that being fucked is a weakness

I disinvited him to brunch over that shit

[asmywitness]

He must have been devastated. Clearly that was the cruellest possible of all punishments.

Can you see the absolutely flat movements of Tyler's hands in your mind's eye, Steven. Because that sure is his fucking tone.

I'm not saying you're wrong on general principles, but you were right about how you're a total bitch.

[fingersandteeth]

You see!!!

High me is such a bitch but because everyone just knows sober me they think I'm such a nice man

I have been literally told I am too nice to date my boyfriend by his actual goddamn child

[asmywitness]

All of your relationship/sexual bullshit is well above my pay grade, I hope you realise.

Maybe he should ask Steven to get him some of that shit later.

I don't know what you want me to do about this besides give you permission to be an asshole as yourself.

[fingersandteeth]

It's not that easy anyway

Like I already got that permission and I still default to nice when sober

About the only time I don't is when I'm doing crime and I can't do that anymore because we did too much

[asmywitness]

Technically we only did it the once, and it turned out to have a bigger ripple effect than we anticipated. Which, really, shouldn't have actually surprised us when we vanished a major public figure.

You know, I'm surprised you're still all prissy and stuck-up after your Durance. Mine made me way more bitter.

[fingersandteeth]

Yeah well typical Wizened

Anyway it's not like I needed the Durance to teach me how to hide myself I was practically a Darkling before I was a Darkling

[asmywitness]

Tyler scowls at his screen.

At least Wizened acknowledge that our existence is shit. Darklings just hide from everything and act confused when things don't go how they wanted.

[fingersandteeth]

Sometimes the only goddamn thing you can DO is hide

[asmywitness]

Good for you. Some of us actually had to deal with our Keepers in person. Get back to me when they rip your fucking eyes out because you can't talk.

Steven's not going to get a reply after that, because Tyler's throwing his Pokegear across the room as hard as he can. It leaves a crack in the wall.

[fingersandteeth]

There isn't a reply.

But there is a 'marked as read.'