Tyler Tian Huang | 黄泰勒田 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
asmywitness) wrote2020-03-03 05:40 pm
asmywitness) wrote2020-03-03 05:40 pmEntry tags:
IC Inbox
[[Tyler screens his calls - anyone who tries to actually call him, he'll text back in reply.]]
asmywitness) wrote2020-03-03 05:40 pm
no subject
[Unsafe. In danger. Threatened.
One hand goes to pat Isis, nuzzling under his chin.]
I'm pretty sure that talecrafting doesn't lead back to me. Not directly, not like oneiromancy if he spots you. But if it goes badly, there's a steep price, and even for a Contract it feels.
Good. *Really* good, a thousand times better than harvesting.
If I do this for you, you owe me. I am *not* getting addicted to that shit for you without a fucking guarantee.
no subject
[He takes a deep breath. Really thinks about this.]
... I don't actually want you to get addicted. That-- is definitely not optimal. So. I don't want you to help me, then. I can do this on my own.
But I am going to do this. Knowing he did that to you only makes me more sure of it. Maybe it doesn't seem like a big thing to you, but it is a big thing to *me*.
You know why he's doing it, right? It's for the same reason our Keepers did *their* shit. He wants to fucking *crush* us. He wants to make us his bitches. He wants to break our wills for no other reason because he fucking can and that's how he gets his jollies.
And for that, he damn well *deserves* every bit of hell I am going to put him through.
no subject
It's not about breaking wills or destroying us. That's incidental, it's secondary. When something as powerful as Them toys with something as fragile as us - yes, we got out, we were strong enough for that, but that's all we did - when something like that sees us as nothing more than playthings, or pets, there's going to be damage because they don't know *how* to treat us with kindness, or gentleness. If they did, we wouldn't be Changelings.
All they want is *entertainment*. Sometimes it's cruel, sometimes it's kind, sometimes it's. Perverted, or sexual, or morally reprehensible, but it's all just a show. Something for them to enjoy, because they're *bored*, and we're unpredictable.
[Tyler shifts to sit up, so he can catch his breath, still his thumping heart and stop his hands from shaking.]
I've written every kind of story imaginable for them, Steven. I remember all of them, I know every single twist, I am so intimately familiar with their capricious desires that it turned me into something that knows, *really knows* exactly how to think like them. Fairest are a Keeper's pretty faces but Wizened are their *minds* and that's why Solus fucking terrifies me. He knows how to use the last thing I have against me.
no subject
Fuck
I. Fuck. God, Tyler.
I'm so sorry.
I don't. I don't know what to do. Solus... we can't allow him to keep doing this to us. But I don't know how to make him stop without risking making him worse.
He terrifies me too. I just. I guess I cover it up a little with fury. And he does infuriate me, don't get me wrong, and part of what makes me so angry is how scared I am every time he gets near me, but
Fuck, Tyler, I don't know.
God, I'm so sorry you had to learn to think that way.
Leave him to me, okay? If one of us has to take his attention from the other, it should be me. I had the easier Durance. And honestly, I'm *naturally* a psychotic mess. We both know that. I pull the Nice Steven persona around me as a goddamn shield, but it's not--
It feels like it's barely holding up with Solus anyway.
I'm okay with sacrificing it to distract his attention. Might as well go the full psychopath with him. It'll be more *entertaining* after all and if he tries to expose it to the world, well. I'll live.
Most of the people who're actually important to me know, anyway, or probably at least suspect. I'll-- figure out how to deal with Connie knowing when it's time. Armin... well. As much as I dote on him, I've always known that someday he'll understand enough to rightly cast me off. I can be sad that it happened so soon, but.
Better that than... this.
no subject
[It takes him a while to work out quite how to word it.]
Don't go destroying your facade over me, Steven. That's a huge thing for you, I know how long you've used it and how hard you try and keep things separate. You're better than being someone's fucking entertainment.
And I doubt it'll come to the others finding out. Or, like. I sincerely hope it doesn't. But if you ever get stuck with the kids over that, just. Let me know, yeah? Maybe I can try and help calm things down over it.
no subject
[He takes a deep breath. Lets it out slowly.]
If I thought it would keep him away from you permanently, it would be worth it. But... god, considering how he just decided to stalk us in Olivine, I don't know if it *would*. He's just so... Fuck. I don't even have words. He just casts such a fucking long shadow over *everything*, you know?
God. And except for him, everything's been going so *well*. Sure, I *didn't* make beta rank after Resort Gorgeous, but they more or less inferred that the main reason I didn't is that it's been too soon since I started with the company to promote me that far and they're probably right about that. They liked me enough to give me a multi-use Toxic TM instead, which I would have never asked for, but is absolutely fucking *perfect*.
And it's only been two days since I started in the newsroom but I'm finally not bored off my ass every day at work--I've finally got a *fulfilling* day job in my *field* and that was something I used to despair of ever seeing again. And they *love* me there. They really do. After I let them know I dual-majored in Journalism and Film/Television Production back in our world, they put me on compiling and writing the news reports the *actual* radio hosts read on the air and it's, god, it feels so *good* to listen to the radio news and hear them read the report I did. The chief of staff's *already* told me that I get my reports in faster than most.
And just. All of that would be good on its own, but I beat Morty (albeit barely) and I've got a plan for Chuck and I'm actually *getting* some warps and God, I even placed third at the contest yesterday! I don't even feel bad it was only third, because *everyone's* acts were really good and Rose Universe and Shadowmaru really *deserved* their places.
So. Like. Fuck. You're right. I've got some good shit going on, even with that asshole Solus deciding he has a bug up his ass about needling you and me. I shouldn't waste that.